I have finally decided to honour myself the title of Miss Road Rage 2011 but I may have to relinquish my previous title of Miss Admit You Are A Road Bully and inherit this new and more amiable sounding one first.
It isn't the rage that makes me drive in a confrontational manner, so aggressively and with the sturdy, solid contention of the school bully. No. It is in fact my intrinsic need to get to everywhere in a rush. I never really have to be in a rush...but I work much better under my own self-pressure.
I have (after many years of believing I was just right about other driver's being too slow or too womany, not capable or, "you should'nt even be on the road!")...come to the correct conclusion that I am, in fact just a hurried person and I have to be in a time eating continuum just to function properly. Driving suffered the most. Suffer for you, the driver I bully. Not, for me the driver who gets where she wants without delay and with that huge dino-bone of contention dusted, tagged and put back in the drawer with a smug grin of satisfaction.
I could easily question, answer and solve my problem with time and become a calmer, less abusive driver because the answer is simply - take your time. But I love the feeling I get from harrassing the driver in front so much so that even the more hardened of old men, the ones who refuse to move over even in the fast lane doing 65 mph, find no alternative than to just pull over. Smug satisfaction and no guilt. It's like eating a Muller Light. It tastes like a pound on the hips (and really it is) but when its gone you know you did the right thing.
I feel as though I am teaching a generation, or indeed lots of ages, how to drive according to the rules. I show other drivers it is not okay to coast in the middle lane when the slow is free and we all have to go round them to get past. I flash my main beam until they move. Or some need further cajoling and for these drivers I move in front and slow down until they move over to the left where they should have been all along.
I drive very close to people who pull out on me. I flash and beep drivers who do not thank me or those who drive too slow for the road rule. I drive very slow in front of drivers who use the wrong carriage. I am teaching them the ways of the road.
How did they pass their driving test?
How soon do you forget the rules you so ardently followed in the weeks running up to your test?
How many people actually should be in charge of a machine capable of taking down a tree, a HGV or ploughing into a wall?
I am slowly altering my somewhat sexist view of women drivers being crap. Men are awful between the ages of around 45 - 70. Awfully slow, awfully routine and probably awfully judgemental of my age group female drivers.
To be continued.............
